Marriage is complicated. Ask anyone (except maybe Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith, who seem to have it well under control). While the tabloids have readers believe that celebrity marriages are much more tumultuous than the marriages of regular folks, it’s not true. An informal Fatherly HQ study of celebrity marriages found that the average celebrity divorce happened after around a decade of marriage, where the average Joe whose marriage ends in divorce separates from their partner after around eight years of marriage. The average ‘celebrity to civilian’ marriage that ended in divorce lasted for 14 years.
One of the reasons why celebrity splits seem so common is the epic marriage failures, the marriages that last weeks, not years. On the other side of the spectrum are the celebrity couples that seem like they were made for each other, the ones that are hash tagged #CoupleGoals. Today let’s take a look at 10 Celeb marriages that lasted mere minutes, and five that have stood the test of time.
15 Married for Minutes: Carmen Electra and Dennis Rodman
Sometimes two larger than life characters don’t make for the most harmonious marriage. After a drunken Vegas wedding, the hangover lasted for nine days until the marriage was annulled. This photo is from years later when Rodman showed up for a Halloween party that Electra hosted; she didn’t seem thrilled to be reunited with her ex.
14 Married for Minutes: Britney Spears and Jason Alexander
We’re not talking about the Seinfeld star, although maybe if Spears had married that Alexander instead the marriage would have lasted a minute or two longer. On yet another booze fuelled whim, Spears married an old friend from her childhood in 2004 while in Las Vegas. The newspapers announcing the wedding were still on shelves when the marriage was annulled just 55 hours later.
13 Stood The Test of Time: Sarah Jessica Parker & Matthew Broderick
While the press likes to speculate about the ups and downs of this long-time couple, Parker and Broderick take it in stride. The two met in 1991 and were married in 1997. Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have a simple rule to keep their marriage private and she says, “The secret is, we don’t discuss it. To reporters or anybody else. That’s it! We don’t hold it up as an example and we don’t air our dirty laundry.”
12 Married for Minutes: Drew Barrymore and Jeremy Thomas
One of the many things that a young Drew Barrymore was known for was being impetuous. This is why when the then 19-year old married a 32-year old bar owner who she’d only known for six weeks, no one was that surprised. The same goes for their 39-day marriage, and within less than a season another chapter of her life was finished when she filed for divorce.
11 Married for Minutes: Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries
Following a wedding that cost a whopping 10 million dollars, it was all over just 72 days later. In a wedding that garnered a two-episode television feature on E! News, this wedding was met with typical Kardashian fanfare. Kardashian said of calling it off, “After careful consideration, I have decided to end my marriage. I hope everyone understands this was not an easy decision. I had hoped this marriage was forever, but sometimes things don’t work out as planned. We remain friends and wish each other the best.”
10 Stood The Test of Time: Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi
Ellen and Portia first met in the early 2000’s and their chemistry was apparent immediately. At the time Portia was starring on the hit show Ally McBeal and was scared that coming out and dating one of the most famous women in Hollywood wouldn’t be good for her career. This delayed their relationship for a few years. The couple married on August 16, 2008, shortly after the California Supreme Court overturned a previous ban on gay marriage. The two have since enjoyed more than a decade of wedded bliss.
9 Married for Minutes: Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson has had her fair share of trips down the aisle, most notably to Motley Crew Rocker (and father of her two kids) Tommy Lee. When she started dating Kid Rock, it just seemed to make sense. The two were married in July 2006, on a yacht, while Pam wore a teeny white bikini. Unfortunately, some cruises last longer than their marriage did – they called it quits just 122 days later.
8 Married for Minutes: Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley
Nicolas Cage and Lisa Marie Presley have always seemed like two odd ducks, so when they found each other it just made sense to a lot of people. The two had an expensive Hawaiian wedding in August 2002, but the marriage was over before thanksgiving, when they filed for divorce 107 days later saying they, “shouldn’t have been married in the first place.”
7 Stood The Test of Time: David & Victoria Beckham
When pop princess ‘Posh’ Spice met Football (soccer) star David Beckham and they started dating, they practically became British Royalty in the eyes of their fans and the press. The two got married in 1999 and remain committed to each other and their four children. Victoria says of why her marriage works, “My husband constantly inspires me and guides me — he has done so much good work, I look up to him and have the utmost respect and admiration for all that he has achieved.”
6 Married for Minutes: Drew Barrymore and Tom Green
Back in the days when Drew Barrymore was changing her husbands as often as her hairstyles, she married MTV talk show host Tom Green. Apparently, Tom’s ability to make Drew laugh wasn’t enough to keep them together. The marriage lasted 163 days, around nine months total. When asked about Drew recently Tom reportedly said, “I haven’t talked to her in many, many years. I’m glad she’s doing great. I’m really happy that she’s doing good.”
5 Married for Minutes: Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley
If anyone was going to have a shot at understanding the trials and tribulations of pop stardom it was bound to be the daughter of Elvis Presley. When everyone was shocked by the surprise wedding and speculated it was just a PR stunt, Lisa Marie came out with an official statement talking about her dedication to being Jackson’s wife and how the pair looked forward to beginning a family together. After two years of marriage the two divorced. A year after Jackson died Presley told Oprah, "[Michael] was always asking me about when he (Elvis) died, how it happened, when it happened and where. He said, 'I feel like I'm going to end up the same way.'"
4 Stood The Test of Time: Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr.
Having starred in a couple of films together in the 1990’s Sarah Michelle Gellar & Freddie Prinze Jr. discovered they worked well together both on and off stage. The pair married in 2002 and have two kids. Gellar has said about what it takes to make their 17-year marriage a success, “You have to work at anything. It’s any relationship in your life. You have to nurture it and take time with it.”
3 Married for Minutes: Cher and Gregg Allman
Some dairy products last longer than celeb marriages. This was the case for Cher when she married rocker Gregg Allman. Like many bad decisions, the pair married in Vegas just a few days following her divorce from Sonny Bono. After their nine-day marriage Cher reportedly filed for divorce because she had discovered that Allman’s addiction issues were more than she bargained for.
2 Married for Minutes: Ali Landry and Mario Lopez
Not even Zach Morris could save his buddy AC Slater, Mario Lopez, after his new wife found out that he had cheated on her. Although having dated for six years, it was 18 days after the wedding that the two called it quits, and the marriage was annulled. Later, Lopez told Howard Stern on air that, “At that point I was not ready to settle down. I wasn’t man enough to know enough about handling it.”
1 Stood The Test of Time: Rita Wilson & Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks’ marriage is something out of one of the romantic comedies he’s famous for. He first met Rita Wilson on the set of the show Bosom Buddies, and the two were married in 1988. Over 30 years and 2 kids later (Hanks has two kids from a previous marriage) they are still very much in love. Hanks reportedly said, “The only thing we ever argue about is who loves each other more…”
Sources: Cheat Sheet, Stylecaster, Insider, Twenty-Two Words, Oprah, Fatherly
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